Thursday, August 5, 2010

This Is The Day!

This is the day!

This is the day!

That the Lord has made!

That the Lord has made!

I will rejoice!

I will rejoice!

And be glad in it!

And be glad in it!

That little chorus, based on Psalm 118:24, has been in my brain since I put it on my pillow to rest last night. Even after waking several times last night to very frightful and disturbing dreams, I would sing that in my head to push the ugliness out and welcome sweet slumber back in. Upon opening my eyes this morning, that was the first thought I had. And then I realized...

This IS the day that the Lord has made. Not unlike any other, but this day (in my life) holds a lot of possible change.

As many of you know, I am having to resign my position as Stay At Home Mom in exchange for a position that pays a little better. When Bill first approached me with this, I was crushed. The thought of leaving my children - especially the newest model - hurt my heart. Squeezed it so much that it leaked out of my eyes in the form of warm, salty tears. A LOT of warm, salty tears. Anyway, after a summer full of three kids, I got to thinking that maybe this back-to-work thing might not be so terrible! ;) Not even that thought, however, made me excited about entering the realm of the classroom. ::sigh::

Then... one of my dearest friends called me with a job she figured I wouldn't be interested in - because it was really more than I wanted. I have to say, it was the first time I felt a twinge of excitement about going back to working world. And I still feel that excitement. I want this job. And, today, I interview for it. I'm filled with nervous excitement... after all, I haven't interviewed for a job in 10 YEARS! (Oh, sheesh, I'm starting to shake at that thought... ) But so many have been praying for me, encouraging me, and supporting me that I think I can do this.

And then there's this morning... my sweet Carter Chance woke at 6:30. He needed a diaper change, a little of mommy's milk, and some cuddle time. He got all of those things and, in my arms with his cheek against mine, he began to breathe the sweet breaths of sleep once more. I kissed his cheek and stroked his oh-so-soft hands and arms... and then I thought, "This is what makes me love my unpaid position the most. This time that I can never ever get back once it is gone." And - for the first time - I was sad at having to interview today. It's hard to want two very different things so very much. But I do.

However, I know the best thing for our family right now is for me to have a paying job. And this job really seems to be the best of both worlds for me. I feel it is an answered prayer (to Bill's prayers, particularly *tee-hee*). I guess we'll see what the actual answer to the prayer is in the next couple of days. Right now, I need to go get ready for my interview!

Psalm 118:24 ~ This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

3 comments:

AprilMay said...

God knows your heart, my friend! Us mommies will always be pulled in different directions. The fact that you realize your time with your boys is precious will make it possible for you to treasure and truly appreciate every moment you have with them when you are working. And you have a lot to offer those teachers! I am praying for you! Oh, and I love your new blog design!

Momma Rhyne said...

Praying for you girl! Blessings on the interview.

Isaiah Thibodeaux said...

Im sorry to hear that.. Shes in my blessing. God bless!